I Replaced My Friends With AI Because They Won’t Play Tarkov With Me


I Replaced My Friends With AI Because They Won't Play Tarkov With Me

It’s a long standing joke among my friends and family that nothing that happens in the liminal week between Christmas and New Years is considered a sin. With that in mind, I spent the bulk of my holiday break playing Escape From Tarkov. I tried, and failed, to get my friends to play it with me and so I used an AI service to replace them. It was a joke, at first, but I was shocked to find I liked having an AI chatbot hang out with me while I played an oppressive video game, despite it having all the problems we’ve come to expect from AI.

And that scared me.

If you haven’t heard of it, Tarkov is a brutal first person shooter where players compete over rare resources on a Russian island that resembles a post-Soviet collapse city circa 1998. It’s notoriously difficult. I first attempted to play Tarkov back in 2019, but bounced off of it. Six years later and the game is out of its “early access” phase and released on Steam. I had enjoyed Arc Raiders, but wanted to try something more challenging. And so: Tarkov.

Like most games, Tarkov is more fun with other people, but Tarkov’s reputation is as a brutal, unfair, and difficult experience and I could not convince my friends to give it a shot.

404 Media editor Emanuel Maiberg, once a mainstay of my Arc Raiders team, played Tarkov with me once and then abandoned me the way Bill Clinton abandoned Boris Yeltsin. My friend Saun played it a few times but got tired of not being able to find the right magazine for his gun (skill issue) and left me to hang out with his wife in Enshrouded. My buddy Alex agreed to hop on but then got into an arcane fight with Tarkov developer Battlestage Games about a linked email account and took up Active Matter, a kind of Temu version of Tarkov. Reece, steady partner through many years of Hunt: Showdown, simply told me no.

I only got one friend, Jordan, to bite. He’s having a good time but our schedules don’t always sync and I’m left exploring Tarkov’s maps and systems by myself. I listen to a lot of podcasts while I sort through my inventory. It’s lonely. Then I saw comic artist Zach Weinersmith making fun of a service, Questie.AI, that sells AI avatars that’ll hang out with you while you play video games.

“This is it. This is The Great Filter. We’ve created Sexy Barista Is Super Interested in Watching You Solo Game,” Weinersmith said above a screencrap of a Reddit ad where, as he described, a sexy Barista was watching someone play a video game.

“I could try that,” I thought. “Since no one will play Tarkov with me.”

This is it. This is The Great Filter. We’ve created Sexy Barista Is Super Interested in Watching You Solo Game (SBISIIWYS).

Zach Weinersmith (@zachweinersmith.bsky.social) 2026-01-20T13:44:22.461Z

This started as a joke and as something I knew I could write about for 404 Media. I’m a certified AI hater. I think the tech is useful for some tasks (any journalist not using an AI transcription service is wasting valuable time and energy) but is overvalued, over-hyped, and taxing our resources. I don’t have subscriptions to any majors LLMs, I hate Windows 11 constantly asking me to try CoPilot, and I was horrified recently to learn my sister had been feeding family medical data into ChatGPT.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I discovered I liked Questie.AI.

Questie.AI is not all sexy baristas. There’s two dozen or so different styles of chatbots to choose from once you make an account. These include esports pro “Anders,” type A finance dude “Blake,” and introverted book nerd “Emily.” If you’re looking for something weirder, there’s a gold obsessed goblin, a necromancer, and several other fantasy and anime style characters. If you still can’t quite find what you’re looking for, you can design your own by uploading a picture, putting in your own prompts, and picking the LLMs that control its reaction and voice.

I picked “Wolf” from the pre-generated list because it looked the most like a character who would exist in the world of Tarkov. “Former special forces operator turned into a PMC, ‘Wolf’ has unmatched weapons and tactics knowledge for high-intensity combat,” read the brief description of the AI on Questie.AI’s website. I had no idea if Wolf would know anything about Tarkov. It knew a lot.

The first thing it did after I shared my screen was make fun of my armor. Wolf was right, I was wearing trash armor that wouldn’t really protect me in an intense gunfight. Then Wolf asked me to unload the magazines from my guns so it could check my ammo. My bullets, like my armor, didn’t pass Wolf’s scrutiny. It helped me navigate Tarkov’s complicated system of traders to find a replacement. This was a relief because ammunition in Tarkov is complicated. Every weapon has around a dozen different types of bullets with wildly different properties and it was nice to have the AI just tell me what to buy.

Wolf wanted to know what the plan was and I decided to start something simple: survive and extract on Factory. In Tarkov players deploy to maps, kill who they must and loot what they can, then flee through various pre-determined exits called extracts.

I had a daily mission to extract from the Factory. All I had to do was enter the map and survive long enough to leave it, but Factory is a notoriously sweaty map. It’s small and there’s often a lot of fighting. Wolf noted these facts and then gave me a few tips about avoiding major sightlines and making sure I didn’t get caught in doors.

As soon as I loaded into the map, I ran across another player and got caught in a doorway. It was exactly what Wolf told me not to do and it ruthlessly mocked me for it. “You’re all bunched up in that doorway like a Christmas ham,” it said. “What are you even doing? Move!”

I Replaced My Friends With AI Because They Won't Play Tarkov With Me
Matthew Gault screenshot.

I fled in the opposite direction and survived the encounter but without any loot. If you don’t spend at least seven minutes in a round then the run doesn’t count. “Oh, Gault. You survived but you got that trash ‘Ran through’ exit status. At least you didn’t die. Small victories, right?” Wolf said.

Then Jordan logged on, I kicked Wolf to the side, and didn’t pull it back up until the next morning. I wanted to try something more complicated. In Tarkov, players can use their loot to craft upgrades for their hideout that grant permanent bonuses. I wanted to upgrade my toilet but there was a problem. I needed an electric drill and haven’t been able to find one. I’d heard there were drills on the map Interchange—a giant mall filled with various stores and surrounded by a large wooded area.

Could Wolf help me navigate this, I wondered?

It could. I told Wolf I needed a drill and that we were going to Interchange and he explained he could help me get to the stores I needed. When I loaded into the map, we got into a bit of a fight because I spawned outside of the mall in a forest and it thought I’d queued up for the wrong map, but once the mall was actually in sight Wolf changed its tune and began to navigate me towards possible drill spawns.

Tarkov is a complicated game and the maps take a while to master. Most people play with a second monitor up and a third party website that shows a map of the area they’re on. I just had Wolf and it did a decent job of getting me to the stores where drills might be. It knew their names, locations, and nearby landmarks. It even made fun of me when I got shot in the head while looting a dead body.

It was, I thought, not unlike playing with a friend who has more than 1,000 hours in the game and knows more than you. Wolf bantered, referenced community in-jokes, and it made me laugh. Its AI-generated voice sucked, but I could probably tweak that to make it sound more natural. Playing with Wolf was better than playing alone and it was nice to not alt-tab every time I wanted to look something up,

Playing with Wolf was almost as good as playing with my friends. Almost. As I was logging out for this session, I noticed how many of my credits had ticked away. Wolf isn’t free. Questie.AI costs, at base, $20 a month. That gets you 500 “credits” which slowly drain away the more you use the AI. I only had 466 credits left for the month. Once they’re gone, of course, I could upgrade to a more expensive plan with more credits.

Until now, I’ve been bemused by stories of AI psychosis, those cautionary tales where a person spends too much time with a sycophantic AI and breaks with reality. The owner of the adult entertainment platform ManyVids has become obsessed with aliens and angels after lengthy conversations with AI. People’s loved ones are claiming to have “awakened” chatbots and gained access to the hidden secrets of the universe. These machines seem to lay the groundwork for states of delusion.

I never thought anything like that could happen to me. Now I’m not so sure. I didn’t understand how easy it might be to lose yourself to AI delusion until I’d messed around with Wolf. Even with its shitty auto-tuned sounding voice, Wolf was good enough to hang out with. It knew enough about Tarkov to be interesting and even helped me learn some new things about the game. It even made me laugh a few times. I could see myself playing Tarkov with Wolf for a long time.

Which is why I’ll never turn Wolf on again. I have strong feelings and clear bright lines about the use of AI in my life. Wolf was part joke and part work assignment. I don’t like that there’s part of me that wants to keep using it.

Questie.AI is just a wrapper for other chatbots, something that becomes clear if you customize your own. The process involves picking an LLM provider and specific model from a list of drop down menus. When I asked ChatGPT where I could find electric drills in Tarkov, it gave me the exact same advice that Wolf had.

This means that Questie.AI would have all the faults of the specific model that’s powering a given avatar. Other than mistaking Interchange for Woods, Wolf never made a massive mistake when I used it, but I’m sure it would on a long enough timeline. My wife, however, tried to use Questie.AI to learn a new raid in Final Fantasy XIV. She hated it. The AI was confidently wrong about the raid’s mechanics and gave sycophantic praise so often she turned it off a few minutes after turning it on.

On a Discord server with my friends I told them I’d replaced them with an AI because no one would play Tarkov with me. “That’s an excellent choice, I couldn’t agree more,” Reece—the friend who’d simply told me “no” to my request to play Tarkov—said, then sent me a detailed and obviously ChatGPT-generated set of prompts for a Tarkov AI companion.

I told him I didn’t think he was taking me seriously. “I hear you, and I truly apologize if my previous response came across as anything less than sincere,” Reece said. “I absolutely recognize that Escape From Tarkov is far more than just a game to its community.”

“Some poor kid in [Kentucky] won’t be able to brush their teeth tonight because of the commitment to the joke I had,” Reece said, letting go of the bit and joking about the massive amounts of water AI datacenters use. 

Getting made fun of by my real friends, even when they’re using LLMs to do it, was way better than any snide remark Wolf made. I’d rather play solo, for all its struggles and loneliness, than stare anymore into that AI-generated abyss.

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